I have 1,112 Facebook friends. Out of that I could count the number of the people who really understands me well enough using the fingers of both of my hands.
And one of those given few is YOU.
I have a confession to make,conversations with you keeps me sane. And frankly, I really don't know how I can survive without them.
It was stupid of me to write the things I feel. It was stupid of me to trust you… that you know me and care about me enough not to get scared.
I am sorry.
I really never asked about your previous relationships. But I still remember the story about the girl who got away. And I know that you got hurt real badly.
I was hoping to be the Band Aid who would help to heal that pain away but I guess three years of being a doormat has taken its toll on my heart.
I told you earlier that I have to quit our friendship in order to save my sanity and then while I was getting ready to go to bed tears started to flow from my eyes… I realized that I would lose so many things in letting go of the bond that we had…
No more long walks…
No more long sensible conversations about so many things…
No more GLEE-deokes…
No more weird marathon texting…
No more Sunday dinners…
No more plans to watch Thor…The Avengers or whatever good that is on…
No more comforting hugs and shy smiles…
You said that you’re worried about me after you’ve read my post, that you really don’t know how to react. I said that you worry about someone who’s sick or who’s in immediate danger but when you learn that a good friend cares so much about you, one should be thankful and happy.
You said that you’re worried that you’d hurt me.
I said that I’m used to it, three ‘effin years of silence is just the crust of the pain that you’ve caused me.
You apologized.
I told you that there is no need to apologize; it was my choice to stay.
You said for all it’s worth we’re still friends.
I said that I’m tired.
Now it’s too late to realize that I have lost a piece of myself when I said that. I am my true self during my weekends with you and I treasure our friendship because it’s a symbiotic relationship, I have learned so many things from you during our long conversations that I won’t learn from some random dates or any of my other friends. And I do know that I keep you interested enough with whatever stories I tell you to keep you coming back for more…
There’s no more you and for sure I’ll miss all the things we do.
I wish I could do something less drastic than this in order to save myself but it’s a Catch 22 situation.
Therefore, I quit.
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